|this is how a pair of perfect brows look like in my opinion|
A few days ago, my friend and I had a brief conversation regarding trends surrounding internet, particularly on social media like Instagram, where selfies are hash-tagged and 'no filter' is a thing. One of our common dislike is addressed towards the oh-so-famous "Instagram eyebrows" which is something both of us will never understand. That conversation has since then inspired me to think about other internet trends we see today, trends that I just cannot compute.
The eyebrows game is something we see a lot on Instagram these days. Other than the overrated beaming 'highlight on fleek' beauty trend, the ridiculous gradient eyebrows look makes me cringe. I know I know, who doesn't want a pair of bold, fierce looking and perfectly arched brows? While I prefer my brows to look natural, I understand people who love theirs bold. Still, I don't understand this whole 'insta-brow' trend. Believe it or not, I have seen some people who went overboard with this trend they end up looking like a pageant drag with unibrows. To support my opinion, you will not see professional makeup artists apply this 'drag queen' technique. Take professional makeup artist Wayne for example who actually made a video about why Instagram eyebrows should be illegal.
Now, before you judge me for dictating how women (or men) should wear their makeup, I don't care. I don't care if you like wearing makeup like a drag queen. You do you. It's your face, not mine. I also recommend watching Wayne Goss' video because he delivered my opinions the way I couldn't. In it, he also tried his best to sound fair and peaceful. This video is also another proof that Mr. Goss never meant to objectify people on how they should or should not do their makeup.
Keep in mind that Instagram eyebrows can look good if they are properly done and that there is no rule as to how you should do them.
While some people realized that this was simply a joke, there are also others who commented saying how disgusting this looks. There are also people who actually did this to their eyebrows and I just. cannot. compute. why. I mean, yeah sure if they're doing it for a joke but for those who do this for the real deal, I'm sorry but I just cannot understand why. Personally, I'd rather leave my eyebrows naked instead of using a glue stick for a pair of toilet brush eyebrows.
Kylie Jenner Lips Challenge
I don't know what is the status of this trend now and I personally don't care. All I know is how stupid this challenge is. First of all, I don't understand people who go crazy over the Kardashian or Jenner family. Secondly, I don't understand people who hurt themselves just to get Kylie's supposedly seductive, plump pout. If you are someone who wants fuller lips, please do so by using tools that we have today — also known as lip pencils! If lip pencil is not enough for you, there are other techniques such as lip fillers or lip plumping products. Those are definitely way safer than sucking air out of shot glasses. Besides, haven't you heard? The challenge is actually deemed dangerous and there are 20 reasons on why you shouldn't do it.
Okay, okay. Hear this out. If Kim Kardashian managed to take the internet by storm and magically bewitched people to over-contour their face, why not contour our neck too? Before you blow this by saying how neck contouring is an old trend, Instagram is there to spice things up by showing you how to contour the back of your neck. Yes, not just the front view! How amazing is that? Try adding this step into your makeup routine and report to me if it does not transform your regime into a two-hour session.
I love freckles. I personally think they're not ugly, especially freckles that run across your nose. Sometimes I wish I was born with slight freckles that run across my nose, sort of like that iconic girl from Wendy's, you know? At the same time, I know people who were born with freckles yet they wished they never had it in the first place. In a way, it's like requesting for something other people have a hard time with just so we can "try it on" for a day. I guess it's only humane to ask for something we don't have.
Tattooed freckles may or may not be the answer for that. As I recall, there are people who draw fake freckles by using brown eyeliners and while that worked, tattooed freckles is another thing (that I personally have mixed opinions for.) In some cases, it can make you look like you have tons of visible blackheads but at the same time, when applied like this, I can see why it's so cool for some people though and I agree it does look festive and adorable when applied correctly. Regardless, I personally wouldn't use fake tattoo freckles on myself.
Like that one disgusting "polish mountain" trend where you coat 100 layers of polish on your nails, the faux fur nail trend is rubbing me the wrong way. I know they're fake fur but the trend still makes me squirm and cringe. It also makes me itch in a "what if I want to scratch my hair!? What if I have an itch and I need to scratch!? What if I have to shower!?" way. Assuming this is only applied for runway purposes, they might remove the fur once it's over but hey, who to say civilians aren't going to follow this absurd interest?
Maybe I just don't get it. Maybe I'm not fashionable enough to understand the beauty of it. Maybe I'm too boring to also understand why Mexican women glue dead scorpions on their nails and call that art or why people cut succulents off and try to make the succulent nail art a trend. Whatever you wanna call me, I'd rather not have fur glued to my nails, let alone using human hair to enhance them.
Aside from these, there are a few other beauty trends that make me go 'why would you do that?' and question everything logical in this world. Let me summarize them in a list:
- Rainbows; rainbow dyed roots, rainbow beards, rainbow eyebrows, rainbow armpits...
- GLITTER ARMPITS. Why.
- Blood facials, also known as when Kim Kardashian applied a purified human blood all over her face for a youthful glow. What are you, a vampire!?
- Lollipop lips, a perfect look for people who want to challenge Miranda Sings.
- EYEBALL JEWELRY which involves actual platinum implanted in your eye.
- BAGEL FOREHEAD. This makes me question everything in this world.
I mean of course, when we're talking about weird and bizarre beauty or fashion trends, the list will be endless. I even skipped some stuff because they creep me out so bad I can't even type them out. I get that people can be really bizarre sometimes and beauty is always an objective thing. I never meant to dictate anyone on how they should dictate their life but that doesn't mean I'm not allowed to express my confusion for certain things, right? If you personally enjoy any of these, I will try my best to understand (even though if you like dyeing your armpits and I will never understand why.)
Disclaimer — this post was written for a laugh. I never meant to dictate or bash anyone for loving the things they do. I'm always a supporter of 'you do you' principle. Please do not take my words too seriously and treat them as humor instead.
images via vogue, buzzfeed, cosmopolitan and google.