I've been thinking about where my blog is heading to lately. I can't help but to think that this place is still a huge mess. I guess I'm stuck in the infamous doubtful phase where bloggers question their blog's purpose or what their niche is because you see, we all wish to be unique and different and special and yet, sometimes, we find ourselves falling into the circle of others instead of one that we created for ourselves. I don't want to be part of the famous folks, I want to be part of the odd club.
Flashback to when I first started blogging, my blog was such a messy room filled with childish, immature ramblings and me not living my life consciously. I was that blogger who spilled too much and acted too transparent to strangers on the web. I hate how I was as a blogger back then. I thought I was so stupid for rambling on and on about my life in a post, like a five year old throwing bricks against the wall for the sake of letting the world see how upset I was. It was so ridiculously dumb.
But if there's one thing I should have kept from my old blogging self, it'd be the bravery to write a post and voice my fullest opinions on a topic, regardless of whether or not people are going to love or hate it. I don't mean to say that the words I've put on this blog are based on commercial lies because they're not; it's just that the more readers you have, the less courage you have to post something bluntly. I find that I've restrained myself way more than I thought I would. I avoid talking about topics and issues that are perhaps controversial because everyone on the internet gets offended pretty easily and they might interpret the way you word things out wrongly. I guess this is also why it's a lot easier to find commercial, advertorial blogs rather than one that talks about underlying things. For instance, it's way easier to find fashion and beauty blogs with a list of their top 10 favorite skincare products as opposed to discovering blogs with posts that talk about how you shouldn't waste your youth by sacrificing your happiness for someone else's. Don't get me wrong: I love reading about beauty related posts and I appreciate a blogger's effort in producing content regardless if you are a beauty blogger or a general lifestyle and personal blogger. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I don't want my blog to be a place where I talk about things people like but I don't.
Finding my route
I recently deleted a few of my posts and realized that they are mostly style or beauty related posts. I put a lot of effort in my writing, in my post, in creating contents for my blog but weirdly enough, I felt no sadness when I deleted those posts. I think it's because they were never the kind of posts I wanted my blog to be bombarded with. I realized that some of those posts sounded a little too commercial-like for my liking and that's not how I want people to look at this place. I want people to come here and see my blog as this little space where you can get to know me, how I think and how I process through life. I want people to know me as a person, not a "lifestyle blogger who owns Mlkbox.com" if that makes sense. I want my blog buddies and readers to know me for my sass, wit and sarcasm; my logical thinking, my nerdy side and interest in Ted-Ed videos and many more. I don't want people to recognize me as that girl who writes twenty different posts rambling about her love for The Body Shop body butters; I don't want to be known for being a blogger who writes clickbait contents like a sellout wannabe — quality over quantity.
I want to be the odd one out
I want to talk about my perspective towards generations, towards baby boomers and millennials and how much I hate baby boomers calling us millennials just to badmouth and generalize each and every one of us. I want to talk about my views in religion, in society, in the world. I want to be brave enough to pour down my sass and sarcasm in my words without the fear of being judged. I want to be able to say, "if you don't understand sarcasm and dark humor then I feel sorry for your dryness" and walk away feeling proud. I want to be able to write a post without worrying whether or not my blog buddies will love them or not. I want to say what I want to say without worrying about how many readers I have.
I want to be part of the odd club, the one who is brave enough to write about certain things people considered taboo. I want to be able to write about attraction, love and many other things. I'm an INTJ and I always have something to say when it comes to discussing a certain topic.
The reason why...
...I began looking at things like this is mainly because I've been inspired by several bloggers: Nana from Musingful, Arden from Missing Wanderer, Rae from Love From Berlin to name a few. Their blogs taught me that it's okay to write about topics people don't usually talk about; they are honest, brave and I admire them so much. If I were to have a list of things that inspire me, I'd definitely include their name in the list. Their blogs are some of the very few things to have light up a bulb in my head about what it's like to live your life consciously. I've been super inspired by several YouTubers too so there's that.
So where does this put me?
I'm not really sure. It's not like I suddenly turn into a really personal blogger because I'm a private person to begin with. I suppose you won't be seeing a crap ton of random style-related posts from me because that's not what this blog is about. I don't think I'll disregard it completely because I do enjoy bits and pieces of beauty products, just that the category won't be as flooded...if you get what I mean. Look at it this way: instead of writing mediocre, easily googled topics like "how to apply dry shampoo correctly", you'd probably see me write about my experience and growth in a relationship. I will also let myself a little bit loose so I can be who I am on this blog.
In the end, I still don't know how to categorize my blog. I do call it a general lifestyle blog of a hobbyist but let me know what you guys think in the comments below.
* this post was highly inspired by a post written by Nana on her blog