The Art of Letting Go

15/11/2017


When the puzzle pieces outgrew themselves and no longer fit the canvas, I find myself so pressured between trying to fix things or to walk away. I chose the latter. Because even when you have tried to glue back the pieces, a broken vase will still look cracked and bruised, leaving memories from the fall.

Clocked 021 | Weeping Willow

13/11/2017


A way to make fun of how bad this week was, I decided to call it the week of a weeping willow because I'm a weeping mess. Ha, get it? Yeah, it's a bad joke and a failed attempt at satirical writing but hey, someone's gotta do it to lighten up the mood. This is a gloomy post, you have been warned.

You Don't Own Me

07/11/2017


You don't own us. 
You don't own me or my sister. You don't control us or strip us of our soul. 
We are made of iron and steel, engulfed in flame of fortitude and strength.  
You don't own any of our piece, you never will. 
We will march, forward and against you.

Listicles | Essential Digital Carry-Ons

03/11/2017


I never thought I would actually write a list of apps I love. I see productive bloggers like Arden and I think about how I never see myself using any apps to take down notes or keep track of things. I mean sure I do carry around a small notebook where I sketch stuff for work and write down blog ideas but for the most part, I rely on my memory power which is pretty good when it comes to important things. However, recently, I have this urge to try out productivity apps just to see why some people swear by them. I'm happy to say I have found some apps that are slowly becoming a staple in my phone.

Indonesia Comic Con 2017

31/10/2017


Between two hours of intense traffic and 40~60 minutes of heavy downpour, I was in my boyfriend's car as we watched the latest episode of Buzzfeed Unsolved where Shane and his team of Shaniacs began to sink with the realization that the Eastern State Penitentiary might actually be haunted. After discussing about the possibility of supernatural creatures and haunted places in our city, the rain finally stopped and we managed to survive the traffic. It was around 3 pm when we redeemed our pre-sale tickets and walked pass the entrance into the world of superheroes.

Clocked 019 | Matcha Tooth

24/10/2017


A little bit late for a weekly summary post because I fell ill again yesterday and spent the whole day working remotely at home and rewatching Mean Girls and its trying-too-hard big failure of a sequel. 

Black Mirror Season 2: A Review

22/10/2017


It's time for another Black Mirror review! I've been postponing this post because I wasn't sure if anyone is actually waiting and excited for this. But, I decided to post this before my memories fade and I start forgetting how I feel towards each one. As always, I will try to keep spoilers to a minimum because I encourage everybody to try this show. Still, I cannot promise that each review will be completely spoiler-free. In case you missed it, my review for the first season can be read here.

Clocked 018 | Roller Coasting

15/10/2017


Shoot, one week of no update? Apparently so. I've been so tired with real life situations lately that I decided to take a break. To be honest with you, I'm currently feeling congested and blergh but seeing how this blog is a responsibility of mine, I decided to update nonetheless.

Hypocrites Among Us

06/10/2017


Alright, grab some popcorn and get comfy because we're going to hear me talk (or write) about something quite sensitive and perhaps, a little bit controversial. I am here to tell you that every single one of us is a hypocrite and all of us is guilty of being two-faced, both online and offline. I am here to tell you that I don't believe in complete innocence unless you are a puppy. Unfortunately, since we are human beings, I am here to tell you that every single one of us is a freaking liar.

Daily & Work Essentials

02/10/2017


Hey, as I'm typing this I am currently at home, skipping work and trying to balance my emotional roller coaster as it shifts from high to low to high again every five minutes. Feeling ugh from aunt flow cramps, I've decided to indulge in some 'miscellaneous talk' guilty pleasure by sharing with you some of my daily-slash-work essentials. Some of you might care, others might not but whatever, here's my attempt in trying to sound like a beauty blogger (just kidding!)

#FoodFilms by David Ma

29/09/2017


It's been a long time ever since I last featured an artist or a talent on my blog and I wish to change that. By doing more often, I hope more people could feel inspired and have their creativity fueled. Today's featured artist is David Ma, a food stylist slash film maker who made you wonder what it's like to watch a Wes Anderson movie about making s'mores.

Black Mirror Season 1: A Review

28/09/2017


I took a week off from blogging because I wasn't feeling creative. I was stuck in a rut and still am so I took the time to nourish and pamper myself by watching stuff, to distract myself temporarily. Following this short one-week break, I decided to marathon all three seasons of Black Mirror, a show I have been postponing a lot of times because I wasn't up for something intense. But, to say I was amazed is not enough. I am in love with this show.

Clocked 017 | Lost Diagnosis

18/09/2017


To summarize, this week is both stressful and exhausting. The fact that I had to deal with numb uncertainty, unbalanced emotional roller coaster and a few unfortunate incidents kind of made me want to lie down and not write a post. Still, here I am, seated on my desktop and typing things out because this blog is, after all, my responsibility.

Hibernation

13/09/2017


These past few days I woke up with a heavy heart and realizing that I haven't been enjoying my job the way I did when I first started working. I found myself losing interest in everything, from playing video games to watching movies to fooling around with the boyfriend. My eyes are open but I can't feel a thing. I am but a walking dead man wondering around thinking if this is just one of those depressive days or my transition into facing a quarter life crisis.

The Edit | August & September

10/09/2017


I've been under tremendous stress lately that I feel like I'm running out of creative juice. Work feels like a million times harder and more stressful and I pretty much feel like crap. My design looks mediocre, feels mediocre and I cannot seem to produce better artwork. I have a few ideas to blog but none of them scream inspiration to me. All I want to do is just lay down on bed and cry my heart out. What do you do when you start feeling this way? For me, I start finding distractions by reading blogs and articles before sharing them with you today.

The Liebster Award

05/09/2017


Shanae nominated me for the Liebster Award! I think this is my third nomination (I was nominated twice years ago but when I moved my blog, the posts got deleted) and I'm so honored to be nominated. Honestly though, this is so flattering to know that there are people out there who actually like my blog. Thank you, I mean it. Now, off to answer some questions.

Clocked 016 | Fridate, Food & Photogenic Cat

03/09/2017


I excused myself from work on Monday this week thanks to my runny nose and burning eyes. Flu kind of sucks but it kind of excuse you from work so I kinda like it. Since Friday was public holiday, I got four days of weekend which was pretty sweet but not enough to have me sleep as long as I want. After all, a cat needs to sleep at least 15 hours per day and I think no amount of sleep will ever be enough for me.

I Am Not An Artist

31/08/2017


The most common (and not to mention, annoying) question I get from people who knew my profession is this: "since you are a graphics designer, can you draw and paint?" The answer is no, I cannot. That's because I am not an artist, I'm a designer. Even if I am able to draw, it will never be anything along the line of a painter. I doodle, I sketch but I don't paint. This frequent misconception is the reason why I decided to write this post and to explain the differences between a visual communication designer and a graphic artist, even if the two look really similar on the surface.

Book Reviews 02 / May - August

25/08/2017


I've been trying to quicken my reading pace lately so I can complete my Goodreads reading challenge before the year ends. I have set 20 books as a goal this year but if I can read more, that'd be so much better. So far, I've been doing a pretty decent job keeping up with the schedule despite my exhaustion from work. The books I'm going to review today were books I've read from the month of May up until recently.

Clocked 015 | (Not) Feelin The Twenty Two

20/08/2017


This week was a major roller coaster where it started out good and relaxing but ended with a huge bomb of stress and frustration. But, if I were to pick one major highlight, it's how I just turned 22 on Aug 15. I don't like admitting it but I'm 22 now and that sucks. People still think I look somewhere between 15~17 years old so that's good. I myself don't feel like anything changed in particular and birthdays, for me, were never something I'm so excited about.

'Strong Female Characters'

16/08/2017


Ah, the cliche. We see this concept every single day in books, in films and in other pop culture medium. It's the stereotype where physical strength becomes the factor to determine how capable a female character is when really, this kind of trope is nothing but rubbish.

Clocked 014

13/08/2017

pistachio x black charcoal gelato

It's been a month ever since I last wrote a Check Ins post! I'm not sure why I was so lazy to write a weekly highlight last month, probably because nothing superbly awesome happened so I didn't bother. Anyway, enough talk and let's just sink our teeth into this week's boring summary.

True Crime Obsession

10/08/2017


Ever since my boyfriend got me hooked on Buzzfeed Unsolved, a channel featuring unsolved crime and supernatural cases, I have been browsing for true crime related things to watch on YouTube. There is something interesting and mind-boggling from watching unexplained cases and strange happenings around us. It reminds me that this world extends far beyond the existence of human beings. If you ask me, "do you believe me in aliens?" the answer is yes, yes I do. I also believe that this universe is shared between us and the unknown.

warning — while the videos featured here are mainly crime/mystery related, these channels do contain supernatural cases from time to time. If you are easily spooked, you might also want to watch these cold cases in broad daylight.

Anchor

07/08/2017


An anchor is someone who shares an emotional connection with you, someone who can bring you back and keep you grounded; someone whose touch does not burn your skin, whose kisses and hugs and warmth allow you to breathe despite standing in the middle of what feels like a battlefield made of Life. An anchor is more than just a fictional myth found in Teen Wolf. It's real and I know it.

Clearance

04/08/2017


I recently deleted quite a few of my posts. It felt like a clean slate though not literally. These posts I used to proudly write, I find that I no longer feel the same way about them. A 2-hour post I used to put all my effort into now feels soulless, bland and unfitting to the atmosphere I want my blog to convey. As I deleted most of my old posts, I have been thinking about the changes in this community.

2017 | July Favorites

31/07/2017


I don't know why this month's favorite features a banner filled with sunny side up eggs but....I still think it's an adorable picture so why not use it, right? Right. But we're not here to talk about eggs; we are here to talk about my list of favorites before this month is over so let's go.

Color Processed Hair Do's & Don'ts | Part I.

25/07/2017


As someone who has been dyeing her hair since 17 years old, one of the most common questions I get from people is "how do you keep em healthy and shiny despite all the bleaching and the dyeing?" The answer is to diligently treat, maintain and understand when to bleach and what to do after that. I am going to divide this short series into parts so as to not bore you down. For the first part, I'm going to give some tips, do's and don'ts on color processing that involves or requires bleach.

Treat Yourself

17/07/2017


The other day I saw an article about how millennials spend more money on coffee as opposed to investing in a resident or whatever other things baby boomers find "useful." While the article itself probably didn't mean to antagonize millennials in any way or form, it does remind me of how most baby boomers tend to dictate us for being "wasteful." As someone who works her ass off every weekday from 9 to 5, I do not appreciate that.

2017 Reading List

10/07/2017


Before this, I never really planned the books I wanted to read since I mostly choose based on my mood. Unfortunately, that usually end up with me forgetting books I wanted to prioritize. As such, I've decided to start a yearly TBR list and will feature them on the blog from time to time.

Almond Milk & Honey

05/07/2017


Finding the right body products is difficult when you suffer from chronic dry and eczema-prone skin. Most commercial range found in grocery stores are either too harsh, too scented or are packed with sulfates even if they claim to be mild and gentle. And since I'm always on the hunt for a good body care product for sensitive skin, I can't say I wasn't curious when They Body Shop decided to launch a new range dedicated to it.

The Dystopian World

30/06/2017


I was browsing my Goodreads the other day, adding more into my to be read list when I realized, most of the books I've been wanting to read are science fiction, specifically dystopian. Even though there are a few adult fiction thrown in, I noticed how much of a staple residence dystopian fiction is in my list. I know I've always loved them but it wasn't until recently when I did some thinking did I realized why I am so fascinated by them.

Clocked 013 | Hello Holiday

25/06/2017



Happy Holiday and Happy Eid Mubarak to those who celebrate! While I don't celebrate it, I'm happy that my mother cooks sayur lodeh to commemorate this festive event. I also have a one week off from work and I'm planning to use it to have my luxurious beauty sleep, update my gaming and reading progress. I also plan to get as much sleep as possible because lord knows how my bones feel like they're going to fall apart from a 5-days job sitting in front of the monitor. 

I Thought About Quitting

21/06/2017


Last week, a thought came across my mind: maybe I should stop blogging.

Confidence Boosters

18/06/2017


If there is one thing I would like to improve about myself, it's confidence. The confidence to feel good in my own skin, bare or styled. I've always wanted to look good without second guessing myself and so far, this journey of pushing myself to feel more confident has made me realized a few things about myself and the things that boost my self-esteem.

Clocked 012 | Flippin' Good

12/06/2017


This post was supposed to be posted yesterday but my ulcer was acting up and I had to lie in bed almost all day long. Better late than never, right?

The Edit | June

09/06/2017


Yikes, I almost forgot about wanting to keep this series alive that I missed compiling a few articles and posts last month. My apologies. In my defense, I wasn't feeling it — browsing feed or reading articles from various websites which was why I got nothing fun to share. But here we finally are with our June reading edits. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do.

Clocked 011 | First Paycheck

05/06/2017


I got my first paycheck on Monday, June 29th and it felt sooo good! Like I finally accomplished something, like I have the power and control to actually treat myself and give something to my mother in return. It feels like unlocking an achievement and I'm not even exaggerating.

5 Positive Things From My Workplace

31/05/2017


Recently, a few generation X folks asked me if I enjoy my job working for a start-up company. There is this stigma in their head that unless you are working for a huge corporate located in the central part of your city, skyscraper office towers and fancy glass windows and sliding doors, chances are you probably won't enjoy waking up in the morning for work. I am here to contradict their words and tell you some of the reasons why I actually love what I do.

Down The Rabbit Hole

29/05/2017


Two weeks ago, my boyfriend and I went on a date to celebrate his 23rd birthday. We ate pancakes, ice cream, pizza and pasta. We were bloated at the end of the day but we were laughing, fingers intertwined and arms around each other's waist, stealing glances and kisses along the way. We were so happy and young and foolishly free you'd probably feel sick just by looking at us.

2017 | May Favorites

24/05/2017


One more week and we have reached the end of May! To be perfectly honest with you, I almost almost had no favorites this month. Early May was filled with a lot of personal struggles and I've been too stressed to think about curating a bunch of favorites. Then again, who am I kidding — I'm always stressed. For a moment there I thought I would be skipping May but midway through, I managed to find certain things I'd like to share with you so here we go.

Mlkboard 007 | Newsfeed etc.

22/05/2017


I'll be honest here: if it wasn't for my job, I don't think I'd have any May moodboard at all. I just realized how I haven't been wasting my life browsing Pinterest and other sites looking for visual inspirations. For some reason, I wasn't feeling it this month — curating stuff, I mean. BUT, lo and behold, I'm going to share with you some cool user interface design.

Thursday Morning, I Woke Up Contemplating

19/05/2017


Thursday morning, five a.m. I woke up with a jolt feeling scared. Had to calm myself down by inhaling and exhaling like a pregnant woman. It was another lucid dream where I felt like I was there to watch the pieces fall. I was standing there as the girl from that script.

I was taught to be independent and I am. I conceal what I feel and I don't admit them, at least not to other people. I pretend like I know what I'm doing when I don't. I pretend like I know how to glue my lego tower house when they fall apart and break to pieces. It's how I was bred. My parents taught me that showing emotion, especially negative emotion, is equivalent to weakness. I know it's not and yet, the idea has been sewed in the back of my mind, a tumor goes unnoticed. Growing up, this mindset has affected me in many different ways — a list that I will have to crack open when I'm brave enough to be a little more transparent, for you my readers.

I dreamed about being left behind by my anchor, the person who I sort of rely on when it comes to keeping myself human and grounded. In that script, I was the girl who said the wrong thing, made the wrong decision and let myself ruin the foundation of what we have been building for quite some time. In it he was disappointed and upset, left me by the street and drove into the night, telling me not to call him until further notice. I left there standing by the pavement, feeling like a wreck. Feeling lonely.

I don't like that word: lonely, or loneliness. I'm an introvert and I am fine with being one. Being alone is easy for me to handle. Being alone gives me the time to recharge and be myself, to grab a book and read a few more pages. But being alone is not the same with loneliness. With loneliness, it's hollow and sad and endless. I am but a sinking ship whose captain decided to leave me stranded in the middle of a vast ocean, dead machine and overgrown moss.

I don't know what it is about loneliness that rubs me the wrong way. I think it's all because I am so used to being alone and know how to handle being alone that loneliness sounds vulnerable in my ears. I hate being vulnerable. But that just means I hate being human....right? I keep telling myself it's not loneliness or worse, emotional attachment. I have been a lone wolf all my life before I found my anchor and I managed just fine. I should.

And so I woke up, smelled of anxiety and reeked of fear. I had woken up three hours earlier than my schedule (since I usually wake up at eight for work) and I just stayed on my bed, staring up the ceiling. I was contemplating things at five in the morning when I should have gone back sleeping for another two hours. Somewhere in the back of my mind, a voice whispered to me: "you are scared to close your eyes again, afraid of a dream so realistic you could feel it in your bones. You are scared because you have grown accustomed to having an anchor."

Maybe it was true, all along. Maybe I wasted all years keeping up a brave front, saying I'm okay and I know how to fix myself, pretending like I wasn't trying so damn hard to prevent the tears from falling. I spent years getting used to being alone I forgot I'm not a robot. I spent months yelling at myself inside my head, screaming about how I should stop feeling too comfortable with my boyfriend as my anchor. I spent all seconds, minutes and hours denying my loneliness, beating myself up for being vulnerable when really, I was being human.

My anchor, my boyfriend. He who is also my best friend, the alkali to my acid. He who, despite all his flaws, tries so hard to make me forgive myself, to remind me what it means to be human. The captain who loves his dysfunctional, troublesome ship despite all her depressive relapses. I think I get why people tell you to date not only an individual but also, your best friend.

Despite my luck, I remember that I am also my own anchor. I am still independent and tough. I know how to handle things on my own. I know how to defend myself. I know my worth and I know I don't need anyone to validate my strength.

I have a heart and it's doing what it supposed to and maybe it's okay. Maybe, I should let it flow. Maybe I should let myself be more human.

Who knows.


Clocked 010 | So Much Munch

14/05/2017


First check ins post in May? Uh oh, my bad. I just didn't have anything fun to post for last week's check ins so if I don't have anything to say, I'm not going to talk about it. But, for this week, I do have some bits and bobs here and there. Enough chatterbox, let's just get on with it.

How It Goes From Here

12/05/2017


Hi, it's me. So, let me give you a quick update: your homegirl is no longer a jobless couch potato. Well, okay I still am (a cough potato) but slightly better now that I am no longer unemployed. It's also the reason why I haven't been blogging as much as before but don't worry, I'm trying to figure out how to balance both duties. For the meantime, let me talk about the job I landed on.

PMS S.O.S: Remedies & Maintenance

05/05/2017


Say it with me: aunt flow is such a b*tch. Whether it's the mood swings or the crazy stupid painful cramps we have to deal with every month our vagina decides to rain blood on fabric, repeat after me: aunt flow is such a feisty little b*tch. If you are someone who goes through period without any problem — no cramp no pain — then say your prayers and thank Jesus for that blessing. On the contrary, if you are like me who goes through first day of period feeling like Cruella de Vil, I have a few quick tips on how to survive a week of proof that you ain't preggo.

Book Reviews 01.

02/05/2017


A brand new series? Uh-huh. After writing my first book review on this blog, I decided I can't always do that for every single book I've read so compiling a few reviews in one series is way more effective. Hopefully this way I don't write a very detailed review that will potentially spoil the book even though, let's be real, we all know I'm such a descriptive and detailed person.

The Internet People

29/04/2017


The internet is an invisible station where everyone is a resident of the same ark, connected through wires and grids across the globe. This digital spacecraft we submerged ourselves into, while seemingly practical and easy, is starting to feel and smell like a threat to me. In this digital chamber where billions of people and strangers are united by a single power line, the secret code used to bypass our individuality is stamped on what we say online. Our vocal mind is more than just an expression — it is a weapon, a weapon that can be used against us.

2017 | April Favorites

26/04/2017


It's that time of the month again! No, not aunt flow — I am way passed that. I am referring to this month's favorites, which I am this close to forgetting by the way. The month of April has been such a massive low ride for me and it really is quite difficult to figure out what my April favorites are, what's with all the drama that's been going on in my family and life. Needless to say, I managed to spot certain things to share with you today.

Clocked 009 | The B in F&B is For Books

23/04/2017



The B in F&B stands for books, not beverage. That's the truth.

Ridiculous Beauty Trends

19/04/2017

this is how a pair of perfect brows look like in my opinion

A few days ago, my friend and I had a brief conversation regarding trends surrounding internet, particularly on social media like Instagram, where selfies are hash-tagged and 'no filter' is a thing. One of our common dislike is addressed towards the oh-so-famous "Instagram eyebrows" which is something both of us will never understand. That conversation has since then inspired me to think about other internet trends we see today, trends that I just cannot compute.

Grams

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