Little Things

01/12/2016



I personally do not celebrate thanksgiving but a post made by Hannie of Missing Wanderer has given me the idea to write a post, a dedicated one at that, about the things I'm grateful for in life. Also, if you follow me on Instagram, you'd know that I just recently graduated — Bachelor of Art, baybeh! — and I thought what's better time to use one of my blog's columns to reflect on things and let some of my thoughts be published for the world to read?

Being grateful is more often than not the things we overlook in life. We pay attention to problems, to the shitty crappy days, to the issues that cause us to never pause and actually be thankful for what we have. I know that's how I can get when I'm too overwhelmed by things. For the past few months, I have shed more tears than before, have been succumbing to repetitive depressive episodes and constant anxiety and see myself as a slow loser who fail to keep up with things. Yes, it's been rough.

Unfortunately, life can be a b*tch sometimes, just like karma. Of course it sucks but I constantly remind myself to read between the lines and find the good things to channel my strength and preferably shift my frustration to, in hope that I can also minimize how depression affects me, my functionality and overall life. By focusing and reminding myself to take a step back and appreciate the little things I still have in my life, sometimes they allow me to breathe and cool down.


The best girlfriend, N.


I've had my fair share of friends in the past but no one, I repeat, no one relates and process things the way N does. I don't remember when we became so close but we did and I'm really thankful for her. N is a smart and logical person who process things from a very rational perspective and has really in depth thoughts about conscious living and that's a few reasons why we click so much. I think she's a really cool, independent individual who has never abandoned me even though I say and think of stupid things from time to time. Although we have some differences here and there, get annoyed with each other and purposely call each other names — "hello, you little shit" — we never get tired of each other and will always reply when the other needs a confidant. Plus, she's an introvert just like me.

Truth be told, I've never had a best friend that lives up to the label (not that I love labeling my friend but you know what I mean) so I appreciate how N really values the idea of co-existence.

The best-slash-boy-friend, A.


It's funny how it has come to this because we only really started talking during fifth semester in college. Well, I'm going to spare anyone from the boring story of how it happened but well, it did. And I'm really thankful for it, for him. Like N, he's not just the boyfriend but is also the best friend too. You know how people always tell you to 'marry your best friend?' — in my case, that'd be 'date your best friend' and honestly, I can see why studies suggest that.

Then again, I'm not sure how it feels like to go out with a guy who didn't start out as your best friend. Heh, it's not like I've had boyfriend(s) before. Even so, it doesn't mean he doesn't get on my nerves because oh god does he actually make me wanna punch him (and not because he's an ass. It's about other things). But eh, at the end of the day, we try to watch each other's back. After all, I'm all about loyalty when it comes to relationship, be it platonic or romantic.

Pop Culture


As cliche as this sounds, I appreciate the modern things we live with today: the internet, video games, books, films and TV series...the list goes on. I appreciate the fact that we have adorable baby animals videos on the internet, social medias where we can laugh at weird memes and read about how shiba inu puppies get stuck by the fence yet still looks like they're stupidly blessed despite their situation. I also appreciate the existence of video games and how they keep me distracted, got me thinking and allow me to practice my fingers and reflexes. I am also grateful for artists, for music, for all the creative inspiration and influences we have online — the world would be dead without them.

Completing College


The first few semester of university life was such a bummer mainly because the subjects I took were still basic, manual art classes that required manual, hand-drawing skills which are something I was never really good at. I felt like a loser and I almost had the thought of quitting design school just because I felt like everyone has better fine art and drawing skills than I do. I also failed two classes, had to retake them and was so ashamed of myself that I spent everyday feeling like a depressed loser — why did I fail? Why couldn't I just pass with a minimum grade? It was dreadful but I dealt and retook them anyway because what choice did I have, right? Thankfully, I passed them just fine after retaking them once.

College also made me learn to accept myself that it's okay if I can't draw human anatomy correctly, it's alright if I can't do fine art and it's fine if I'm not good when it comes illustration. I still do envy my friends who are great 'jack of all trades' and those who can illustrate, digitally or manually, but I've learned to accept the fact that I'm better when it comes to digital, multimedia design such as photography, web, interface and editorial design. Confidence is not easy but I have to learn how to appreciate my abilities more — self love and appreciation, ya know.

Four years in college have also taught me that there is no fix point when it comes to design. You can have a design style but you can never have the perfect design. I have learned that graphic designers differ from fine artists hence the constant debate that blurs the line between the two fields. Additionally, design is subjective and will continue to evolve through time, just like knowledge, and the only thing we — or I — should do is keep on learning.

Boy was I glad I did not quit and pushed through some of the unwanted subjects. 

Surviving thesis


I remember feeling extremely anxious about my thesis and thesis defense. I couldn't sleep and I was terrified about failing, about not being able to answer any questions or defend my own project. Not to mention my supervisor first thought of my thesis idea as this very difficult, very strange "why would you want to make a project based on such idea"  kind of topic that I was discouraged from time to time. It sucks when you have an idea you are so excited about only to have people looking at you like you're insane for wanting to do something different.

I did survive my thesis despite the ups and downs, the agitation and personal struggles, managed to complete it even though the grade I received made me sad — I got a B, which sucks in my opinion. Then again, my project execution did not deserve an A but a B managed to discouraged me for a while. Still, I should be grateful it wasn't a C.

Being an introvert

Some people misunderstand introverts as this lonely, antisocial group of beings who resort to loneliness and being alone instead of joining other people or group and leave their safe cocoons. Frankly, I value myself as an introvert and would never change a thing. Sure, I envy my boyfriend who can adjust and adapt to new environment and socialize with new people because he has that amazing trait that I sometimes  wish I can have just a tad bit but at the end of the day, I still value my position as a listener slash observer more than a talker. Don't get me wrong though, I can be talkative to people I'm comfortable around but most of the time, the number of people I get comfortable around is very...limited.

As an introvert, I am able to enjoy myself and keep myself busy when I'm alone. I'd like to think of that as a gift. I am also able to pay attention to details, observe people from afar and notice even the slightest change in a situation. My introverted personality allows me to be more independent, perhaps emotionally stronger as well (even though I still get emotionally compromised sometimes when I bottle things up too often) and has definitely given me the capability to develop a defense mechanism for me to deal with things.

I don't know about any other introvert out there but I value it and I value the fact that I am probably more observant than some, if not most, extroverts that I have ever met in my life. Besides, I think big talkers who reveal and talk more than they should are not only annoying but also less intelligent.

Please don't take it the wrong way. I am not saying that all extroverts are big talkers, listen less and/or are stupidly annoying. There are intelligent extroverts who talk less and listen more but it's quite difficult to find them.

Teas

This is such a weird, cliche thing to be grateful for but whoever invented tea deserves an award. I've been so obsessed with drinking tea that I can't seem to go on a day without brewing a tea bag. I always have a box of green tea in stock as a staple tea selection but lately, I've been so into English breakfast tea served with skim milk and sweetener. Aye, so British. Believe it or not, I usually drink tea raw — no sweetener, no milk, just pure tea (which may come off as a surprise to some and I just don't understand why!) however, I'm all about adding milk and sweetener or honey when it comes to English teas. My favorites at the moment are English Breakfast, Peppermint and Spearmint Green Tea.


images via pinterest & tumblr

And now it's your turn: what are you grateful for this month / year?

12 comments

  1. Aye, congrats on the bachelor! This was such a sweet post. I can definitely relate with the introverted thinking bit. I definitely feel that being an introvert helps me protecting myself, being emotionally strong and I feel like I'm a pretty good people-watcher and understand-er.

    Loved reading this!

    Hugs,
    Hannie from Missing Wanderer

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  2. First of all, congratulations on your graduation!! That's awesome!

    Second, I totally agree that it's easy to focus on the negative aspect of the world, of people, and of life in general - especially with everything that's happening in the world right now. But learning to appreciate the good we have in our lives really changes our mindset and our mood, and sometimes is what gets us through a really rough time! For me, it's always the obvious, friends, family, husband, and cats xD Thinking about them and how much they care for and support me (well, maybe not my cats, haha) is what keeps me going!

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  3. I for one love your ramblings. Introvert or not, you definitely have a voice and it rings loud and clear through your words. As for what I'm grateful for-- the fire of the leaves this past month. cozy, fluffy sweaters. That I finished washing all the dishes and there isn't a stack looming in the sink. Living in NY. Kdramas. Yup.
    PS-- I don't think tea is cliche.
    https://cynicalduchess.blogspot.com

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  4. I think it's a good to stop once in a while and think about things we're thankful for :) A lot of crappy things can happen in life, but we also have positive things that we forget about sometimes. I'm glad you have people who you truly consider your best friend! I agree with the "marry your best friend" thing. My husband started as a friend but not someone I would consider a best friend. He definitely became one as we dated longer though.

    Congrats on graduating! I'm glad you didn't give up on design school or your thesis. When I was in college, I hated and was terrible at hardware classes, but I excelled at theory and higher level programming. It's all about finding your own passion and strengths instead of trying to be good at everything!

    When it comes to introverts and extroverts, I don't think a lot of people understand what it means. They assume that shy and antisocial = introverted, which isn't true. That's just a stereotype. I enjoy being an introvert too, and I think it's led me to pick up some of the hobbies that I have.

    I got into teas late in my life, but I'm glad I did! I love black teas, though lately I've been drinking more green and also tisane at night since they don't have caffeine.

    I'm definitely grateful for my family and close friends. I'm also grateful for finding a company to work at with a great culture!

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  5. Cheers to you my fellow introvert! I loved reading this post!

    www.foregathers.life

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  6. Congrats on graduating! Oh god, I'm super nervous about writing my thesis next year; congrats on surviving that too! // Yesss tea :) It's the little things in life that I'm so grateful for! // Hmm, I'm grateful for the close group of girlfriends I made in college, and how one of their parents hosted all of us at their house for Thanksgiving for the second year in a row! I'm also grateful for my close group of girlfriends from high school that I still keep in touch with :) -Audrey | Brunch at Audrey's

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  7. I love thoughtful heartfelt positive posts like this one. It seems you have a lot to be thankful for and are lucky to have two such amazing people in your life. And props on completing college and surviving your thesis! I am grateful for my health and for a new person in my life.

    Rae | Love from Berlin

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  8. Congratulations on graduating!

    I totally get what you mean. I tend to overlook the good things in life and focus on the negative.

    I use to hate being an introvert but overtime I've learned to embrace it and enjoy it. Like you say, I feel like we're more observant than extroverts. My teachers at school always used to pick up on the fact I didn't talk much in class, but it was because I was too busy listening and taking in all the information.

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  9. I love the positivity in this post, thank you for sharing what you're thankful for.

    I agree having friends and a boyfriend who is as supportive and understanding is the best thing ever. I always tell my best friend that I'm really thankful for having her with me at the moment. She never left me alone to be upset especially after my recent break up, she was always there and was my true friend till the end! Unlike some others who just leave when you're miserable. Keep those people in your life <3

    Congratulations again on graduating, your photos on Instagram made me so darn proud!

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  10. Congrats on your graduation!

    I love this post! I completely agree with you in that it's hard to remember the things and the people we are grateful for when we are bogged down by the problems in our lives. Sometimes it feels like the bad outweighs the good, until you realize it's because you're only thinking negative thoughts. So it's doubly awesome that you are able to take a step back and realize that we are surrounded by people who love us.

    And pop culture! I am always grateful for the internet and the fact that I can read as many books as I want to, haha.

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  11. I remember writing a post a couple of years ago about what I was thankful for. I was a little jealous that Thanksgiving was not celebrated in Australia and wanted to join with the people in the US. :P

    You seem to write a lot about failure in this post – that makes me both sad and happy. It makes me sad because you thought about it quite a bit, but happy because you found a way to get over it. And I guess sad because you didn’t get to see the talk I did recently about letting go of the fear of failure... that might have helped you a bit 🙃

    I’ve had a range of relationships but the best one (haha one, not ones) started from a friendship. I have had a couple of others that started from friendships and that means that you’re not just dating because you like each other but because you also enjoy each other’s company. I really do think I am marrying my best friend – I feel so open with Nick and I can tell him everything and trust him. And we have such a great time together. It’s hard to get a combination of both friendship and romance, though. I have seen stupid women on television shows who choose some hot guy over the guy they bonded so well with. And it’s a shame because they instantly friendzone anyone who is such a good friend. Just because you are good friends does not mean you should toss away the idea of a relationship.

    ALSO YAY TEA!!! 😍

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  12. […] Some of these things are probably nothing but recaps because I’ve mentioned them in this post before. But it goes like […]

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